Recently I looked at some photos I produced when I first decided I wanted to be a professional photographer. Let me be honest and confess they weren’t very good. These were taken about seven years ago, and although photography had long been a hobby of mine and I had a natural “eye” for the medium, I had much to learn when it came to advancing to the next level.
As I studied these images representative of my early endeavors I felt mixed emotions. On the one hand I thought: Well, you have learned a lot and improved lightyears since then, so that’s something to be proud of! On the other hand I thought: Those old images are rather embarrassing! And to think you shared them on social media! Seven years from now are you going to look back at your current work and cringe and ask yourself: “What was I thinking?”
“What was I thinking?”
It’s something we’ve all asked ourselves at some point in our lives, whether in relation to our professional or personal decisions. To err is human, and we all miss the mark from time to time. In our present lives right now—today—we are likely mistaken or misguided about something we believe to be true. Our blind spots are part of our humanity. Years from now we will likely look back and wish we had done something differently, or wish we had realized something we don’t realize now. Who among us does not wish they could share nuggets of hard-earned wisdom with their younger self? Who among us has never said: “I wish I knew then what I know now.”
As I studied my early work and cringed, I started to feel a little dejected. I begin to wonder if life is merely a humbling and disappointing process of looking back and lamenting your ignorance as you identify what you should have done differently.
But then I started to think about it in a more positive way. First, I reminded myself of all the times I had gotten things right. Second, I started thinking about the value of practicing compassion toward oneself in regard to “not knowing any better.” And third, I reminded myself that art, like life, is a never-ending growth process, and to cease to grow and improve is to become stale and lifeless.
Let’s examine these three points further.
#1. When noticing your blunders, don’t forget your bull’s eyes.
As you evaluate your journey and notice ways you may have failed, don’t forget to take note of all of your successes. Seven years ago I did have a lot to learn (and still do, no doubt!), but I did manage to grow a photography business from the ground up, and I did become good enough at what I do to gain a steady clientele and a decent reputation. Am I satisfied where I’m at? No way! I want to keep getting better and keep learning new things. I want to hone my business skills and push my creativity and my technical ability. I also want to combine my photographic images with my first love—writing—in innovative and inspiring ways. I have only just begun!
#2. Practice compassion toward yourself along your artistic journey.
I have always been my harshest critic. While this might create a tireless drive toward perfectionism, it can also create self-defeating belief systems. As I’ve grown older (and hopefully wiser) I’ve realized that while it’s important to strive toward continued improvement, it’s equally important to love oneself through the process. If you can look in the mirror and say: “I did the best I could with what I knew at the time” then there’s absolutely nothing to cringe about!
It’s easy enough to recognize when we receive love and compassion from someone else. Who among us doesn’t remember those individuals who offered a helping hand during life’s storms? As the late, great Mya Angelou once said: “People forget a lot of things but they’ll always remember how you made them feel.” They say troubled times show you who your true friends are, but a lesson even more valuable than realizing who your true friends are is realizing how important it is to be your own advocate and friend. Love yourself when you succeed, and love yourself when you fail. That doesn’t mean we should stop critiquing ourselves or stop aiming to do better, but when we goof up we need to say, hey, it’s OK. You’ll do better next time.
#3. The creative process is a never-ending journey of growth and expansion.
There is a saying: “To cease to change is to cease to live.” I believe the same can be said for the creative process. All artists, no matter their medium, have their own style, yes, but ideally that style will deepen and undergo various forms of metamorphosis during the artist’s career.
When I look at the photographic images I produced seven years ago vs. the ones I produce now, I can see tremendous growth, not only in style and technical ability, but also in how my photographer’s eye has sharpened. The photographer’s eye is a strange thing. When I was first starting out I often did not “see” what was right in front of me, but today I see details I never would have noticed before. Today if I look at an image I once deemed satisfactory I can immediately identify weaknesses that once escaped me.
I suppose life is the same way. As we advance and evolve, we will (ideally) grow wiser and our blinders will fall off. It’s as if life can be summarized in different stages of being asleep vs. being awake. As I continue to “wake up,” I will probably make mistakes, but instead of cringing and expecting perfection from myself, I am learning to embrace this never-ending process of awakening and expansion, and I am learning to do so with a self-evaluation that’s thorough and clear but also compassionate and forgiving.
As I travel life’s journey I welcome every opportunity to become the best version of myself as both an artist and a human. I am grateful that I find such purpose and happiness through the creative outlets of writing and photography. As I peer backward I am learning to cringe less and to instead feel thankful and proud about how far I have come.
Photo taken in Hartola, Finland.